|
gardenclouds
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Mei Li
Birthday: 7/12/1983
Interests: The sound of a river running mildly.
The soft rustling of trees.
Honest mutual camaraderie.
Expertise: Conjuring smiles within. (I wish)
Occupation: Dream Reviver
Industry: Slumberland
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
3/3/2006
|
|
| I find it a bit weird when somebody criticises me on a personal choice. Like working late. I ain't complaining am I? I'm doing the job aren't I? I'm being responsible for God's sake. Yeah, yeah, I know I have to come in at the same time tomorrow. But I didn't say I wasn't going to.
I find it hard to talk to people who always trip very easily. It's like they have expectations of you, without your consent. And when you overthrow those expectations, they start trippin'. It's like they make it their business, to know you inside out just the way they always did. The weirdest thing is if they start reading your blog, and assume that you're writing about them. And then acknowledge the things that you wrote in the real life. Oh man, blogs are meant to stay in the virtual world. That's what comment posts are for. Don't take it out of their context. Don't apply them to your life.
In fact, blogs are really like diaries. The only difference is that the owner has given the key to a few selected friends. So they can catch up, it seems. And when you are reading someone's diary, I suppose the details should be kept a secret? That you should have the courtesy to at least pretend that you never chanced upon the ridiculous rants? Perhaps, I just don't want you to take me seriously when you're scrolling the page. I am a writer after all. Not a good one, but the license is all mine to create and weave fact with fiction, gold dust with crayons. I appreciate my audience, if any. I can't exactly complain about wanting privacy. This is an online blog after all.
Maybe this is not really about blogging at all. It's more like the people around. Sometimes we all take life too seriously. Holding on to friendships too tightly. Worrying that we will be disappointed. Looking forward to things that are not possible. And yet, we still have that glimmer of hope. One, that when smashed, can still get you angry and blame him or her for it. Hey. Don't forget that this is a free world. Nobody has to explain why they have bad attitudes, breaths, whatever. If they don't like to reply messages, so be it. If they don't like to initiate meet-ups, that's their call. No point waiting in endless agony for someone else to make your plans for you.
Your life only has your name written on it. You are the one filling up your organiser. You are the one sleeping with you at night. Yes, life is too short to let someone else control it. After all, you're only you in this life. And for that, I'm thankful for all that I am.
Lately I have been wondering about the arrogant air that I seem to exhale. Because I have it, doesn't mean that I can speak of others' lack thereof. Vain? Very. Wrong? Unlikely. Oh well.
It's a wrap boys and girls. See ya'll tomorrow. :>
| | |
| I'm learning to take compliments better. So much so that whenever I get slapped with an insult or criticism, I can actually feel my face growing hot. Thick-skinned, they said. Double layers are good. But how can I have one more slice of cake, if I'm already full with bread?
Hopefully things will run by smoothly today, like it did yesterday. It was busy, yes. So much to do, yes. But it kept my mind occupied, and nobody stepped on my forked tail! Ironically, it was peace for me yesterday. Peace of mind, they coined. Yes sirree, I agree.
Every morning, whenever I hear this song by Frankie J, I have to smile.
"She's got face and hair like a supermodel. And a body built just like a Coke bottle."
Can you imagine anyone singing to that? Or much rather, composing a song with those lyrics? Corny. But cute. And catchy.
I want some sleep. I hope I get some good ones soon. Although I have so many things planned that requires me to wake at dawn. But if I love somebody, I've got to do it right. If I can start it. If I can make her see what I believe in. If she can do this for me.
"If you never plan to get out of your shell, you're never going to get well."
Yes indeed.
She's come full circle. I'm here at square one.
She can do what she wants. But I try to do what she's done.
So now it seems that I'm ready. For you, so have we begun?
The universe is full of
Reflections but you have eyes
That can see in another dimension
All the things that I've tried to hide
All my thoughts are just useful thinking
You found time to think of me
I guess it's true what they say in this lifetime
You just might find the thing that you need
You say that we're moving forward
Faster than we really know
Your laughter slowly takes over
Your confidence I'll never know
The universe is full of
Reflections but you have eyes
That can see in another dimension
All the things that I've tried to hide
All my thoughts are just useful thinking
You found time to think of me
I guess it's true what they say in this lifetime
You just might find the thing that you need.
*Inda.Ken Oak Band* | | |
| What's Monday to a lot of people? Back to work? Getting things done? A few more days till the weekend again? If people had to go back to work on Tuesdays, they'd call it Tuesday Blues. Or maybe they'd change the colour. Tuesday Teals. Tuesday Cyans. Tuesday Pantone 3618s. Blue isn't even a sad colour! If it is, then why is the sky blue for at least 10 hours in a day? | | |
| People are mean only when they are threatened. Don't you agree?
There would be no reason for them to spill out their ugly guts to another. Unless they want to gain something out of it. To scare the other person away. Keep them at bay. There is no other way to respond to threat, after all.
I suppose I can get mean too, when I know something's not going my way. When the path of my future suddenly forks out to the left. There are many ways of being mean. You can snap at someone. You can apply the silent treatment. Sarcasm is not half-bad. Or you can try using your sweetest voice to convey the message with the sharpest sting.
Which makes me wonder: should we use different levels of mean-ness with different people? If a person is mild and placid but angers you somehow, should you be displaying the same mean face that you would to your constantly devilish neighbour? Who is to say who deserves what? Attidudes and reactions are constantly reciprocated. This is how we judge. If you are nice, most people will be nice to you. If you pretend, most people will too.
If a child accidentally breaks a toy, should the parent whip him with a cane? Perhaps words alone would do a better job? If a naughty child purposely breaks a toy because he is used to destruction, does it not make him deserve the whip more? How do you handle punishment with people who do and don't have it coming?
Just a few things to ponder on as I end my Friday with a tiny jolt. I appreciate her patience though. Her feather-soft net to catch my fall. When it's the weekend tomorrow, who cares what work requires you to experience?
Productivity, in a way, is also a state of mind. I can be productive at work, at home, in my organiser, for my future. Like a chessboard, I sometimes have to renegotiate my priorities. Miss Pawn, go take a look. Come back, Black Knight. Let the Soldier take charge. Wrong move, right turn.
It's satisfying to know that you have completed something without another's help. A little selfish gesture, but important all the same. Why do you think winners are so full of pride? The medal is only metal. They strive for the moment to be on stage, to be recognised, because they've achieved it all through their own hard work. Nobody is running their tracks for them. Nobody else is doing that back flip or butterfly splash. Nobody but their own torsos, willpower, spirit. It's only when you've done enough to be recognised, that you will truly feel special. Right now, I'm still searching for that particular situation. Of which I will belong to one day soon.
Work has taken a backseat in my life. I'd have to choose to rethink my career pretty soon. As I don't seem to have as much 'passion' in what I'm suppose or told to be passionate about. This is an industry for countless possibilities! Nowhere else pays better! You're young, it's too early to decide! My potential has been polished. My mental acuteness challenged. I can be greater than who I can be when I'm here. But greater in what? | | |
| Maybe I shouldn't have ordered the Teh Tarik. Then the Teh-o-Ais. Then the Teh Ais. I wasn't being adventurous, I swear. Just thirsty. I didn't know insomnia came so easily for me! I'm as sleepy as the hollow now.
I haven't even seriously gave any thought to the work that I have to do. I know it's due next Friday, but we have to start somewhere. The only thing is that, today is also a Friday. Which makes me not want to work but think of the Pizza that we'll be having tonight. I hope nobody's in the mood to work either, so that I wouldn't feel so bad.
And who'd every thought that a few days after New Year's, my beloved boss would drop a bomber on us. Why'd she choose to tell us yesterday? Of something they say may not be confirmed. Although I feel differently about it. Something must've been agreed along the way, or she wouldn't have let us in on the secret. She didn't let the cat out on a Wednesday. Not on a Friday. But Thursday! To let us be know before we heard it from the others, she said. My compassion's working overtime. I actually felt sad yesterday. Lately, I've been feeling down whenever I chanced upon someone that's leaving off to somewhere, near or far. People come and go, they say.
I'd say once they're gone, they'll be gone for a LONG time. You never know when you might just meet a person once, and never see them again. Who knows who you'll hook up with tomorrow. Talk to, speak with. Someone that you're used to seeing everyday, can just disappear like that.
I've made friends with the most people in the last year. Recognised so many new faces everywhere. Although I always wondered how come I never bumped into anyone I knew whenever I do my shopping, lunch, whatever. But yesterday, my paths crossed with 2 of the most random people in my friendship universe. A sweet aunty from Perth whom I can't contact on a common basis because she travels around too much. And a charming gentleman who left me to fend with copywriting alone in this Valley of sorts. Perhaps they hung out at the Restaurant every other day, and I so happened to select it as my Thursday insomnia-reeking spot.
Guilt. What is guilt? Guilt is carrying on blogging even when I know there's work to be done. If time is not to be wasted, I don't know what is. Although writing is always good practice for me. Even if I'm not writing anything philosophical or life-altering for the world. To whoever that reads my blog, I hope I've inspired you somehow! It's not an easy task to put a smile on someone's face with just words alone. But I'll try. It's always easier to depress the hell out of someone.
| | |
|
